Sleep didn't help

Well the sleep didn't fix my back and with each step I took with babycakes it ached and the pain moved down my leg..not pleasant!

I decided after learning that baby couldn't go anywhere until after the courtcase was finalized which would be March next year at the earliest that I had to ask for him to move onto a carer who could see him through to the end of the case...sooner rather than later as he was becoming very attached and knowing and by the time he left he would be nearing one, I just couldn't pass him over, it would not only break my heart but my children's, I can't bare to see their little faces looking over the social workers shoulder back at me as they walk up the drive.

When I got the call for babycakes I agreed to care for him only for a few months, possibly up until Christmas ONLY IF they knew that the final placement was definitely going to happen then.

In conversations with the social worker (who was very new to the job) I felt that this case very well could be sped up as the Grandma who lived in QLD had his other three siblings and I thought if she was good enough to look after them then it'd be automatic that babycakes go to her where he is with family BUT not to be, Doc's had to check her out..What the ...?

My friend fostered a baby which sounded like the same scenario and eighteen months later he was still with her and no end in sight.

I rang the social worker and explained my grief and we decide that they should find a carer that was able to keep on keeping on and also someone closer to where he was being ferried to 3-4 days a week for access...I told them there was no hurry and I would keep him until they found the right carer who was big and strong and ably bodied to carry our Buddha baby.

Two days later the social worker rang to say they had a lovely carer who was happy to take him ongoing and was available in a few days time...I felt dreadfully guilty about letting him go, he's such a happy beautiful baby and I hate to see babies moved around unnecessarily.

the night befor ehe went I sat to write an email to the social worker to say we would keep him, but then I thought about the needs of my family and myself, I needed to see about my leg ache and to sort out some issues with my dear old dad and his failing health and ongoing mini strokes.

Babycakes went off for an access visit and then was being delivered straight to the new carer afterwards...I hope she is lovely!

After baby left I headed over to my Dad first and sorted him, well sort of, he sadly has had enough of life and is looking forward to moving on...not what I needed to hear at this point but I gather he is old and hasn't much in his life these days so I gave him permissiont to go...poor old man!

I decided not to go to a physio, I went for a therapeutic massage which greatly helped my back and was relaxing.

I went home and there was a message from the foster mum..I rang her back and was relieved after I spoke to her as she is just gorgeous and she lives very close to where access visits take place and babycakes won't be out of the house 5 hours a day...all good!

Ouch my back!

I sat babycakes ont he lounge beside me and watched television, he was really enjoying pretending to be a big boy and being upright...seeing the world at a different angle.

I crossed my arms and looked out of the sides of my eyes and exclaimed "whatcha doin baby?" and he let out the biggest giggle, what a delight of a child!

He just brings so much joy, his big beautiful smiling eyes and chubby cheeks and buddha belly, the makings of a beautiful bouncing baby boy.

I moved baby onto the playgym on the floor so I could go shower and get dressed but before I left him I twisted around and lifted him up a fraction to move him out from under the toys and OUCH, my back went ...one of those twist injuries...he is such a big baby, I should have known better but its done now and I need a physio.

When I can fit in a physio appointment at the only physiotherapist that I would ever go to after my last experience where the physio ruptured two discs and I required a major spinal fusion...I aint going there again so I will travel all the way out to Beecroft but its going to be a nuisance, babycakes has access 3 days out of 5 and I can't take him out after he returns as he is a real ratbag, we have Melinda's medical appoinments and my aging Dad's visits to fit in...not sure when I will get around to seeing Steve and fixing my lower back.

Maybe after a good nights sleep it will repair itself.

Morning access and more settled

We have started access visits mid morning, Mum & Dad must have been able to reorganise their day and their daily dose of methadone...early access is agreeing with babycakes and his few hours of squealing is now for no more then twenty minutes or so.

Because he sleeps for nearly 12 hours at night he is more awake and happier to be kept awake for that little bit longer earlier in the day and he has a longer sleep now in the afternoon.

I have started giving him a variety of solids now he is 4 months old, only a few teaspoons twice a day, I started off with pureed pears which he loves and I think if I let him he would demolish the whole jar but he isn't ready just yet for that much food so a bit at a time and I will build up over the ne3xt few months to a jar of pears, lunchtime I give him pureed veg's and the first meal Ithink more went on his bib than in his mouth...amazing how he knew after one teaspoon how to eat and swallow...babies are really intelligent, far more intelligent than we give them credit for.

One time I had a newborn baby which I noted when I was feeding her a bottle that her tongue was attached quite close to her gums so I asked my Doctor about it and she said it was a 'tongue tie' and it was Ok as long as she could poke her tongue out, she was only about 3 weeks old at the time so I started saying repeatedly to her "poke your tongue out" at the same time poking my tongue out...blow me down, if she didn't start copying me and by the time she was 6 weeks old she was poking her tongue out by comand...I couldn't beleive my eyes so I videod her and showed the video to my friends who were in disbelief.

Mum's agreed to Morning access visits

Wonderful news, babycakes' Mum has agreed to morning visits to make my life easier...I explained in the contact book that its actually for baby's sake not mine, actually fternoon visits suit me time wise better but its not whats best for me, my concern is whats best for baby.

Babycakes always comes home with half a bottle of formula left over and when I try to open the lid to dispose of the milk I can hardly twist it undone and I am one strong gal...on a few occasions I wrote to explain that the lid on the bottle should only just be closed to firm not tight as it creates a vacuum and baby can't suck the milk.

I have been getting a little frustrated as she doesn't seem to be listening and not only does baby come home tired and crabby but he is also hungry and so I again wrote a message to Mum, I worried it sounded a bit curt but she has to get it through her head so that baby is nourished and hydrated whilst out.

Baby's mum sounds sweet in her correspondance, she wants to provide for him by purchasing his clothes and nappies and whatever else I need for him, she always expresses how thankful she is to me for caring for him and she loves him to bits, I can tell but I know the drugs are too strong an influence in her life and there is no way she is giving them up... so what will become of babycakes?

Access and unsettledness

Poor babycakes now has to travel for an extra two hours a day when he has access with his parents...DOC's are considering adding an extra day so his Dad can see him...thats 4 out of 5 days he will be out for 4 plus hours...all too much for a young baby.

On access visits I request that Mum puts him down for a sleep but she objects and I fully understand why but he needs sleep, he needs to be kept in a routine and not be allowed to become a ratbag from being over stimulated and over tired....they get the fun times and I get the screaming.

When we were moving I asked DOC's if they could make his access in the mornings as he sleeps all night and he tends to catnap for 40-60mins a few times before lunch and then he has a long sleep in the afternoon...they got back to me with afternoons fit in better with his Mum as she has to get her methadone...hmmmm!

Not happy with this I emailed to explain the situation and ended it with "this should be about what is best for baby, not for the convenience of Mum" I would imagine that the cae worker wouldn't be too impressed with me but I am advocating whats best for babycakes AND me...I am the one that has to deal with a very crabby and unsettled baby.

the social worker got back to me...her manager agreed and they will now look at morning access visits now for babycakes...they are hoping that Mum agrees and that the baby couriers can work in with that timing...I sure hope they can.

Finally back on line

All but 20 of the 180 boxes are unpacked and put away, the new house seems like its been ours forever...

Babycakes didn't cope very well with the move especially with having to listen to days and days of the packing tape being torn off the boxes...with each and every box opened he squealed.

In hindsight I should have asked the department for a weeks respite and not have put babycakes through the torture of that sound and disruption to his routine.

I had forgotten about drug affected babies being extra sensitive to any noise let alone this ear piercing noise.

After a week he settled right in, he woke a tad early because the house is so light and bright and no window coverings on the living areas which is where he had to camp until I cleared a room for him.

The planned nursery is a tad darker but it was filled with all the 'extras' that Ced couldn't think of where to put when packing up and so were relegated to 'BDR 4'.

We have now decided that bedroom 5 can be a wardrobe slash dressing room come nursery, the wardrobe makers are busy at work building and they will be ready to install the first week of November and then the final 20 boxes of clothing and baby clothes can be put away and my crib will have a place of its own.

Women's Weekly

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